March 2013 – ScrumOfOne

To Be A Better Person, Do Anything

A little birdie sent me the following link, thinking this is the type of thing I’d write about:

David Wong‘s End Times Report: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person, for Cracked.com

Challenge accepted.

This message of tough love was viewed over 8 million times and I’ll talk about it as a whole. Before I do, here are those 6 harsh truths:

#6: The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You
#5: The Hippies Were Wrong
#4: What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People
#3: You Hate Yourself Because You Don’t Do Anything
#2: What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
#1: Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement

He starts it off by talking about markets, covering a point by Chris Guillebeau in ‘The $100 Startup’, where you can follow your inner compass and do what you love, but unless it is of value to somebody, and Chris G. refines this to lessening somebody’s pain or growing somebody’s happiness (he further refines this to not selling what you do, but teaching what you do), you’re only pursuing a hobby. The example given is enjoying pizza. Is somebody going to pay you for eating pizza?

Now, I don’t know about you, but I think I might subscribe to the blog of a pizza afficionado – a one-man Yelp of all things pizza. Heck, think of the detail you could go into…

The secret to the unique texture of the Cooney Island pizza lies in, yes, the water. Its signature flavor peaked in 1954, with hints of cranberry making an appearance if allowed to rest on the tongue, a good year which reflects optimal summer rains, minimal sewage treatment runoffs, and maximal body disposals.

Such gastronomically intriguing critique aside, the point is that there has to be somebody who cares enough for what you’re doing to perceive it as valuable, and valuable enough to trade ya for it, usually with money.

Since stuff like money does help out with living, we acquire this currency via doing things of value for others, usually at a job. Since it’s natural to define ourselves by how we benefit society (how we give value to others), we are defined by our job, and this Wong guy says that actually, you are your job. You can be a nice person, but nobody is paying you to be nice, or at least not as much as they’re paying you to do your job. (And if being nice is your job, then man, I’d love to read your blog; you must be really really REALLY nice…)

So, now that we’ve gotten driven into our heads how humans need things, and how we are defined by our ability to supply a demanded product or service, he approaches our value from an angle I haven’t really seen. The second half of the article talks about inertia and how it relates to our value. See, the only way to be a part of this market of human supply and demand, besides demanding, is supplying: y’gotta do something. I like how he puts it:

Don’t like the prospect of pouring all of that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell — I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the side. People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can’t figure out that the process is the result.

The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here, close.

And by ‘close’, he means supply a human demand. Create and share. Output.

It’s easy to demand. It’s easy to want. It’s also easy to judge what others supply, what others make. It’s easy to be the critic. It’s harder to make something and suffer through the suckage which comes with the process of perfecting the craft of however you’re making value. This inertia, this… force that pushes back on you, this… laziness, is actually built in – it’s part of your biology, at least as per this Wong guy.

Happiness takes effort, but you can’t get criticized for what you make if you don’t make anything, and this fear aversion (what’s biologically built into us) is comfort. Comfort is easier than happiness, and it’s another form of doing nothing, not participating in the human market, and thus not adding value on this large, mostly blue rock.

So what does this Wong guy recommend to be a better person? Do something. Think it’s what inside that counts? Only if it gets you to do something: share what’s inside with others. Can’t think of something you can share with others? Do something that’s impressive to other people.

And that’s how he ends it. I read that last bit as do something exciting, which I’ve come to understand is happiness.

Challenge completed.

Thank you, little birdie.

Chicken Scratch

I have a little black book.

If I’m wearing a jacket, you can bet I’m carrying it around with as much love as I might a companion cube, but not for the reason Urban Dictionary might define:

Name for a man’s pocket directory of (hopefully) promiscuous women (i.e. sorostitute).

(Besides, that’s what cell phones are for…)

No, I actually use my little black book about once a month, at my favorite cafe, where I can be seen at the counter sitting for a few hours combing that thing over, shiny pen in hand, and another, littler, non-black book open. At some point, some new member of the waitstaff will see both my notebooks open, can’t help but notice the contents, and exclaim, “Wow, you have TINY handwriting!” This is usually followed by, ~~“My, aren’t you a handsome and irresistible beast. I’ve been working up the courage to, um… wanna go out?”~~ “What are you doing?”

Kids, at this point, I want to lie with something seriously silly, something extravagantly fascinating, something told through an accent.

Kids, at this point, I unfortunately tell the truth. Much less fun. Way more meaningful.

What am I doing? Welcome to my church! No, this little black book is not my bible. Yes, this little black book does have lots of chicken scratch. When I come across an inspirational quote, a valuable phrase, or otherwise something that rings true with who I am or the person I want to be, I write it down. There are some books that are so dense with this kind of goodness that I extract the best lines and re-write ’em in wicked small font so that these pages are similarly dense: more goodness per page. So that’s this notebook.

In this smaller one over here is more chicken scratch. At the top, I write what is top-of-mind for the upcoming month in terms of goals, events, and concerns. With this as context, I then read through the gold nuggets in the black book. What seems most pertinent, I re-phrase and re-write in the smaller book, the latest pages of which I read during my morning commute.

So yeah. Short-term reflection with a long-term perspective. From this, I walk into the month better grounded in a written form of my… essence. I am centered.

In reality, this new member of the waitstaff has already walked off. And back. And off again. And back again. It takes me a little while to get this all out.

How do you center yourself?

Agile Family

This blog documents the adventure of applying Scrum principles to my personal development.

I started a ScrumOfOne because I found it helpful with logistics as I moved into my own space in Boston’s Back Bay. (I carried my cheap bookshelf across town during a late January sleeting ’cause I guessed fewer folks would be out on the roads – I was right.)

Focus then shifted from dwelling development to personal development as I rediscovered pieces of myself. (That February, I was offered extra money to pull extra hours to get a couple of projects done, which I managed by sleeping on a yoga mat at work, not the newly purchased mattress at home. When the last thing you see before you close your eyes is the underside of your desk, you start questioning your choices.)

Having come to terms with what would bring me the most daily joy, what’s left is removing limiting beliefs, getting my butt in gear, and showering you with remixes of Wham’s Careless Whisper, all the while transparently tracking progress towards my vision, frequently adapting. (Adapting the stark abodal palette of browns and greys to oranges and giraffe heads with the addition of my loving partner in fun.)

Now, I can’t help but find the ScrumOfOne in what I read and hear and see, and it’s not so hard when it’s a TED Talk by Bruce Feiler called ‘Agile programming — for your family‘. The talk is much more than an application of Scrum (his last line is powerful), but here’s a primer:

The key idea of agile is that teams essentially manage themselves. … It works in software, and it turns out that it works with kids.

This is essentially family development through Scrum, and it is mentioned in his book, The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More.

Do you want a happy life? Try.

Teddy And The Newb

Time for a little humility: I would like to take a moment to congratulate myself on becoming a n00b. For those curious, Urban Dictionary defines it thus:

A inexperienced and/or ignorant or unskilled person. Especially used in computer games.

If you’re a newb, you’re new to the game. Most likely, you suck at whatever game we’re suddenly talking about. (Jai Alai? How am I supposed to know? I just started working on my psychic skills! Geez…) Over time, you, most likely, get better, but meanwhile, you suck. More importantly, you’re in the game. I like how Theodore Roosevelt said it in a 1910 speech:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Thanks for the pep talk, Teddy. And your use of semicolons. (Handball?)

My newly minted newbishness came about from following a piece of my own advice and pumping out a Proof Of Concept… a Version One. Without realizing it, I realized what that blog post said would happen: I crafted a story with a definition of done where I became convinced that a seemingly lofty goal is indeed attainable. (Sepak Takraw?)

So as I sloppily newb around, I shall think of our beloved Teddy and whole-heartedly embrace a truly cringe-worthy and confidence-boosting Version One of my seemingly lofty goal: to create and share music.

What’s your game? Are you in it? What’s your Version One?

Superachievers

When I write a book, it is going to have a short title, like ‘On Raising Polar Bears in Saudi Arabia’. Well, see, even that is too long, and way too interesting (they were very gracious backgammon players).

If you’re Camille Sweeney and Josh Gosfield, you would write a book entitled The Art of Doing: How Superachievers Do What They Do And How They Do It So Well, which is, well, yes, quite long, and also quite interesting, at least as per what little I read and saw of the interview on Business Insider.

It sounds a little like my favorite song lyric and second favorite contender for tombstone epitaph. Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band:

It’s not what you look like,
When you’re doin’ what you’re doin’.
It’s what you’re doin’ when you’re doin’,
What you look like you’re doin’.
Express yourself.

Dubbed ‘the most successful and productive people’, here are the highlights:

Grow from failure. They meet it not with blame, but with self-awareness and introspection, which lead to reinventing themselves.
Commit to dreams. They wrap their lives around their inspiration, with everything in the service of this end.
Channel negative emotions. They might get knocked back, but they keep their eye on the prize.
Go for broke. They forgo fearing failure.

What I take away from that is a two-part Art of Doing:

Have a vision and a burning desire to wholly lead your life per your personal inspiration.
Know that life will give you lemons and that they won’t stop you.

Tying back to the ScrumOfOne system I hold so dearly, #1 relates to the Product Owner and #2 relates to the ScrumMaster. The Product Owner sets the direction: vision and strategy. The ScrumMaster guides the team through the Scrum process, which includes the Retrospective, which in itself covers that first ‘Grow from failure’ highlight above. At the end of your Sprint, you take a look at anything that may not have gone as planned, ultimately adapting – reinventing yourself.

To me, that last highlight is tricky, ‘Go for broke’. When you’ve got your eye on the prize because you are unabashedly immersed in living your dream, I’m guessing ‘failure’, or fear of it, doesn’t register / exist in that frame. If you run into a wall, you pause, regroup, pivot, and continue trail blazing. That sounds like a major change in mindset for most folks who fear failure in pursuing their dream. Now I want to see if the book has more on this topic.

Take a page from the Internet’s favorite OTT bad-ass. When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he makes orange juice.