Bunny Bunny Banks

Once upon a time, in post-apocalyptic Scotland, there were bunnies. These bunnies danced, and played, and hopped, as was their bunny nature. Every bunny was a true bunny. Every bunny day.

Even on the day when a stranger came to their banks by the lake. And this stranger was very strange.

And you will believe me when I say this, for it is I, Hedgefield Angus McTucker, Marauder of the Three Seas, and I have spied, with my little eye, many a strange thing.

This stranger was not just any bunny. The fur was whiter than snow. The eyes were greener than grass. The voice was louder than thunder. Can you imagine a voice louder than thunder? That would be too loud! Yet, this is how the bunnies felt, deep in their bunny bones, when the stranger first spoke.

“Abracadabra! It is I, Bun-Buns, Perilous Performing Partner to Magician Adam Smith, famous for his Invisible Hand trick! I have traveled the Three Seas, and the lands between those seas, and the lakes between those lands, yet it is on your land, by your lake upon which I wish to travel no more! If you can hear me, then hear my challenge! If you can build me a house that I want to have as my home, then I will reward you with a boat-load of carrots! Abracadabra!”

And you will believe me when I say that all the bunnies heard him, for his voice was louder than thunder. At least, this is how the bunnies felt, deep in their bunny bones, when Bun-Buns first spoke.

[end of Part I – start of Part II]

When Bun-Buns next spoke, it was because he was approached by Annie and Bonnie. Annie and Bonnie were not just any bunny. They were both known to be brave. They were both known to be kind. They were both known to like carrots. Can you imagine a bunny liking carrots? That would be too easy! Yet, this is what Bun-Buns hoped, deep in his bunny bones, when he was approached by Annie and Bonnie.

The bunny nature of Bonnie was to act first. And so she did, saying, “Welcome, Bun-Buns! My name is Bonnie. I am pleased that you chose our banks for your house challenge, and we would be more pleased if your voice was more fitting with the nature of the homes already here: gentler, and quieter.”

As a perilous performing partner, Bun-Buns knew how to take instructions to please an audience, and so complied with a thunderless, “Ah. I see.”

The bunny nature of Annie was to ask first. And so she did, saying, “Welcome, Bun-Buns! My name is Annie. I am curious why you chose our banks for your home challenge, and why your voice is so thunderful. It is a gift none of us have here. Also, ‘abracadabra’ is a word none of us have here. What does this word mean to you?”

As a perilous performing partner, Bun-Buns knew how to make conversation to please an audience, and so replied with a still thunderless, “Ah! You see, when performing big magic tricks, as I have, to big audiences, as I have, you need a big voice, as I… can have. While performing is my nature, thundering is not. Thundering has become my habit, and I apologize if my voice was not fitting with the nature of the homes already here: gentler, and quieter. It seems my first magic trick, upon arrival, is to use the quieter voice of my true nature. Abracadabra.”

And you will believe me when I say his second magic trick was to get Annie and Bonnie to, in that moment, understand the word ‘abracadabra’. At least, this is how they felt, deep in their bunny bones, when Bun-Buns next spoke.

[end of Part II – start of Part III]