Or at least… I live like a millionaire. On the daily, I swan dive into a multi-storey vault of Dogecoin a la Scrooge McDuck. Luckily, such riches have afforded me the necessary thick skin and equally necessary metallic
Beyonce bouyancy to not get all cut up by or drown in said vault of said coin. (I got 99 problems, but tetanus ain’t one. (Hit me!))
So after my morning swim, after shimmying the moon dust off my shoulders, I get on with my day. And my days are pretty ordinary, except for the ‘living like a millionaire’ part. My vast wealth of cryptocurrency stays in that vault because I don’t need it to live like a millionaire. I already know how without all that.
“What?” you say, “Are you gettin’ all cheesy on me?” Naw, Pepper Jack, this is something that recently hit me like a tonne of feathers with a brick in the middle.
Fill in this sentence for yourself:
I live like a millionaire when I…
Here, let me help you out – this is just some of what’s on my list. I live like a millionaire when I:
- play Candy Crush when I go to the bathroom.
- beatbox in the shower.
- rack my brain around Chinese Checkers.
- commandeer a public piano.
- crack a bad joke.
- watch and hear my wife’s reaction to said bad joke.
- walk around holding my wife’s hand.
- say ‘wife’ whenever I can ’cause it still sounds foreign.
- blare ‘And You and I’ by Yes before getting married.
- jam to ‘Burn’ by Ellie Goulding as I walk out of work.
- bask in ‘Express Yourself’ by Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band just about any other time of day.
- whistle my theme song.
- sit at my
- hang out at a cafe.
- drink a cappuccino.
- go on a date with a buddy.
- make up a silly story.
- tell the story behind my watch.
- tell the story behind my pen.
- tell the story behind my wedding band.
- tell the story behind the number four on clocks.
- tell the story of how I work for Taco Bell as a motivational speaker.
- tell this joke: Did you hear about the Scottish cross-dresser? He wore pants.
- watch and hear your reaction to that joke.
Sure, if I had some loose Hamiltons I’d build a community music studio and start a hovercraft polo league, but I’d also continue to do the above already awesome things. And of course, how I live like a millionaire will differ from how you live like a millionaire.
How do you live like a millionaire?
How can you live like a millionaire right now?