challenge – Page 7

Baconday

The following is my truly ridiculous Wikipedia entry for ‘Baconday‘ – a birthday present for a quasi-nephew who recently turned 14. I forget how much I enjoy writing outlandish stories. What have you forgotten that you enjoyed?

A baconday is a day that comes once a year when a person celebrates the anniversary of their birth. Created in 1776 by the Connecticut delegate to the Continental Congress Silas Deane, this amendment to the concept of a birthday is celebrated in the New England region of the United States, often with a ridiculous rite of passage, usually involving a feat of strength.

Inspiration

On a sea voyage to France with noted prankster Benjamin Franklin, the two foreign diplomats imbibed many an impromptu concoction. One fine day, a carefully rationed experiment in brewing bacon ale resulted in a four-bottle batch, of which three were intended for supporter of American independence Beaumarchais. The fourth bottle was shared between Deane and Franklin, with subsequent conversations resulting in baconday, an idea so creative, by their impaired judgement, that they feared the creative power of such a drink in French hands to the degree that they withheld their gift. Missing since the trans-Atlantic trip, the location of these bottles have been the subject of fable among New England bacon-lovers.

One bottle was found and sold at Christie’s auction house in 2007 for 100 brazillion dollars. The other two are still on the loose. Watch out.

Tradition

Intended for the families of Connecticut delegates, Deane proclaimed 13 bacon-related challenges, after the 13 American colonies, to be assigned and completed at each birthday, starting from one’s 13th birthday. Records were kept at the State House in Hartford, until the start of the Civil War, whereupon the more pressing matters at hand pushed out the jocular tradition from daily focus.

Pre-Civil War, the state’s government meetings began with a summary of the bacondays’ events since the previous meeting. Post-Civil War, the agenda item is not addressed, although it ceremoniously remains in the agenda as a reminder of those lost during the war.

Challenges

1st Baconday, 13th Birthday

Snort 13 fl. oz. of bacon grease in 13 minutes.

2nd Baconday, 14th Birthday

Consume 14 lbs of bacon in 14 minutes.

3rd Baconday, 15th Birthday

Wear 15 strips of bacon, from dawn ’til dusk, as the only item of ‘clothing’.

4th Baconday, 16th Birthday

Debate the virtues of crown rule against 16 strips of bacon in the town square.

5th Baconday, 17th Birthday

Soak in 17 pounds of bacon, from dawn ’til dusk.

6th Baconday, 18th Birthday

Run for mayor, with 18 strips of bacon as your running mate.

7th Baconday, 19th Birthday

Balance 19 lbs of bacon on your head in the town square.

8th Baconday, 20th Birthday

Perform an elaborate 20-part marriage proposal to a strip of bacon in the town square at noon.

9th Baconday, 21st Birthday

Take 21 shots of bacon grease, for breakfast.

10th Baconday, 22nd Birthday

Walk around, from dawn ’til dusk, with 22 strips of bacon in your shoes.

11th Baconday, 23rd Birthday

Submit to the state house a self-portrait using 23 strips of bacon.

12th Baconday, 24th Birthday

Legally change your name, first and last, to ‘Bacon’, for 24 days.

13th Baconday, 25th Birthday

Sing a 25-minute song, recounting your previous Bacondays.

References in Popular Culture

None. Yet.

The Birth That Counts

How do you prefer your birthday?

With a crowd all aloud?
With your crew downing brew?
With a few playing Clue?
With your mate tempting fate?
Sub-radar, “‘Tis news afar”?
(In a box with a fox?)

As I get deeper into my early 30’s, my preference has been the latter (no, not in a house with a mouse). Sure, I’m glad I was born, but if I’m not up for celebrating an event around a central character that is me, beyond celebrating for celebration’s sake, then I personally don’t see why I’d want others to go out of their way. If you want to, though, I won’t stop you.

Congratulating me on my birth? Call my Mom – she did the work. Call my Dad – he had a seminal part in the matter.

Congratulating me on making it this far in life without succumbing to disease or harm? I’ve made it this far, thanks, though I’m sure there are higher bars of achievement beyond survival now that the average lifespan is over 30.

Calling to say hi? That’s cool. Let’s grab a cappuccino.

I feel like I’ve turned into a curmudgeon in this regard. The thing is, the most useful part of a birthday, for me, is the opportunity to reflect…

The earth has circled the sun in about 525600 minutes. So while Earth has made its journey, how has mine been?

Reflection and other methods of observing ego are important, which is why I’d prefer to enjoy its benefits more often than once a year, say, once a week at my Sprint Retrospective. This means I have a birthday every week. Try it 🙂 .

Happy Birthday to you, too.

Get Paid To

Not that it should be all about money, but it’s an easy way to ask the question… Have you ever asked yourself,

I wish I could get paid to –

and then you end that sentence with a verb, or two, or ten?

You already know the answer.

What is it?

Find Your Path via Scott Adams

Career advice from another cartoonist? Yep! Scott Adams does the Dilbert comic. As a kid, I remember reading those and thinking they were just OK. And then I entered Cubicle Nation, and I’m now embarrassed to admit how funny I find ’em. I wish I could go back to my younger self and say, among other things, “Yo, hi, it’s me, you. I know, in the future, you rock. I’m not that good with time travelling, my flux capacitor prototype isn’t stable, so while I’m here, get this… You’ll lose the braces, you’ll get those Dilbert comics, and you will lose your virginity, but that’s not until you’re – ”

In a 2007 blog post, Adams gives what I think is some pretty simple and genius life advice. When given the following two options:

Become the best at one specific thing.
Become very good (top 25%) at two or more things.

Look behind door number 2.

I like how he says it:

The second strategy is fairly easy. Everyone has at least a few areas in which they could be in the top 25% with some effort. In my case, I can draw better than most people, but I’m hardly an artist. And I’m not any funnier than the average standup comedian who never makes it big, but I’m funnier than most people. The magic is that few people can draw well and write jokes. It’s the combination of the two that makes what I do so rare. And when you add in my business background, suddenly I had a topic that few cartoonists could hope to understand without living it.

Unabashedly lifting from his writing again:

Capitalism rewards things that are both rare and valuable. You make yourself rare by combining two or more “pretty goods” until no one else has your mix.

So here we have a formula for combining your skills (ability), your passions (desire), which count because if you’re really into something then it’s easier to focus and put in the time to get good at it, and marketability to some degree (value), which derives from the uniqueness of your personal combo of what you’re “pretty good” at.

You’ve been on this planet for a little while already, so you’ve been able to get into things. What three things would you call yourself pretty good at?

Be Embarrassed or Look Up Cerulean Blue

This isn’t a post about how it’s OK if you suck.

Not even how it’s OK if you suck just at first at whatever you’re doing, or how it’s to be expected because you’re a newbie, or how you’re encouraged to suck because that’s how you improve.

Nope.

This is a post about how if you don’t share a creation that sucks, then you’re doing it wrong.

How ’bout them apples! I feel a sense of relief just thinking about it. Screw ~~pride~~ perfectionism! If it stinks to high heaven, then air it out!

This thought derives from a quote by Alberto Savoia from his GTAC 2011 Opening Keynote: Test is Dead.

If you are not embarrassed by your initial launch, you’ve not launched early enough.

The premise of his talk is on how there are two types of bugs: code bugs and idea bugs.

Bugs in code are what tests are supposed to find. If you press a button, the thing should turn cerulean blue. If you test the thing by pressing the button and the thing turns robin’s egg blue, then it was a good test ’cause it shed light on how the thing doesn’t meet the cerulean blue requirement. So then you Google ‘cerulean blue‘ ’cause, honestly, who could possibly know such mysterious corners of the rainbow except my wife, fix this bug, test it again, and the test passes.

Bugs in idea are what users end up finding. If you press the button, and the thing turns cerulean blue, and the intended user can no longer find the thing among the malachite green things because the target market is blue-green color blind, then it was a good exercise ’cause it shed light on how the cerulean blue requirement is a bad idea. So then you Google ‘tritanopia‘ ’cause, honestly, who could possibly know such blurred reductions of the rainbow except the internet (and optometrists, and opthamologists, and tritanopiacs…), fix this bug, give it to the user again, and this type of test passes with flying reds, cyans, blues, and byzantiums.

This colorful example highlights the Law of Failure:

Most product ideas fail in the market… even if they are very well implemented.

The first example highlights a bug in implementation, which, when fixed, represents progress, albeit in the wrong and ultimately embarrassing direction. The second example is preferred, enduring early embarrassment, ensuring the right and ultimately market-relevant direction. The idea bugs are more valuable than the code bugs and thus are the ones we want to catch early. Testing has historically focused on verification, “build the product right,” whereas focus is shifting towards validation, “build the right product.”

In the software world, this means distributing, early and often, a build to a small portion of the market for feedback.

In the personal world, this means sharing, early and often, a creation to a small portion of your fans for feedback.

Your first shared version should be embarrassing. Hmmm. OK.